I suspect that intelligent and well-educated people are more likely to be foolish and blind. I would like to develop this idea more.

Perhaps people like myself, with overdeveloped minds and habitual emphasis on reason and thought, often grow out of touch with our hearts. By this I mean that we lose our common sense and our confidence in the natural laws that most people intuitively know.
There are some verses in scripture and some lines by theologians such as Thomas Aquinas and Thomas a Kempis which seem to suggest this development.

Perhaps as a person tries to construct his personal philosophies by rationale, he ends up rationalizing the tenets that he feels should be true. Thus, the intellectual has a seemingly strong case for what is false; the error is buried deep in the foundation.

Over the break, I had a pretty serious talk with my parents about my vocation. I talked about how medical school works, especially the application process. Also, we talked about where I'm at and where I'm going with my religious life discernment and with Kristy.

My dad gave me a particularly good piece of advice. As a result, the focus of my discernment has shifted away from the career (doctor v. priest) and more towards the... lifestyle (married v. religious community). I think this is most fitting, especially since I can work as a doctor with either lifestyle - or as a teacher, or a counselor, etc. Hopefully my six weeks with the Jesuits will give me good insight into religious life. My relationship with Kristy has been a wonderful thing. I wish we could spend more time together; she, too, plays a role in my discernment. We communicate with one another pretty well, and we're definitely considering one another as potential spouses.

This kind of changes my method of discernment - previously my focus was on gathering experiences with my potential careers (shadowing physicians, hanging out with my spiritual director, doing some volunteering in hospitals and schools, etc.). I think that's still a good thing, but it's not so critical anymore. Experiences with married life or religious life are a little hard to gather, beyond what I've seen thus far. I think this makes it even more important for me to strive for holiness - to remove the barriers that I set up between God and myself, so that I can clearly hear His call. Please continue praying for me!!

Midterms and Spring Break were pretty solid.

Future things are starting to fall into place. I need to find somewhere to do clinical volunteering for the first 6 weeks or so of my summer, and then I'll work part-time somewhere else. The 6 weeks of summer after that, it looks like I'll be in New York city (wassup Dave!!! & Noah?) with a Jesuit community. I'll be living with them and helping with their work in schools or in an infirmary.

Then comes my last semester, in Fall 2006. Throughout the Summer & Fall I'll be working on medical school applications.

I'm applying for the Alumni Volunteer Corps for Spring 2007. Basically, this is work as a teacher and extracurricular group leader at my old high school, University of Detroit Jesuit High School and Academy. They give me room & board, in their house next to the school. There'll probably be some medical school interviews in that Spring, and I'll also begin to prepare my application for the Society of Jesus.

By the end of the Spring, I hope to have decided on medical school or seminary. If I choose medical school, I hope to know whether or not I'm going into the priesthood.

But... God's will be done!!!!

Going to bed at midnight as been... great. It's been awesome.

I may need some earplugs, though.

Test tomorrow, and then on to Spring break!!

My (blood) brother Tom might come down to pick me up. If he does, we'll hopefully hang out with some (fraternity) brothers. Tom would get a bid if he rushed us. He would make a virtually ideal fraternity brother.

Dealing with pain seems to get easier as one grows older. Perhaps the body becomes less sensitive; or, people might generally get tougher and more controlled.

I was led to this subject of thought when I accidentally cut and stabbed myself with a scalpel yesterday. I was using it to strip a pretty big wire, and as I was trying to cut it towards myself, I thought, "hm...I should find a way to cut this cable without forcing the blade towards my own hand."
It was a pretty bad wound. It hurt, but I was not particularly bothered by the pain. I asked somebody to help me with first aid right away (disinfect & bandage), and then got it checked at my university's health services office after my classes (several hours later). I had a tetanus booster today for the cut, also.

As I was thinking about pain, I recalled some further evidence that stuff hurt more (either quantitatively or in our heads) when we were younger. For one, Big Nate mentioned how when he was a kid, his dad applied some Bengay cream on his back, and it hurt like hell. He asked me for some of the stuff the other day, for his shoulder.
Also, I understand that my father suffers from a pretty solid amount of pain, but he doesn't complain much.

That's all. My finger is still wounded. As long as it doesn't get infected, it should be good in a week or so. Forunately, it was my left hand, so my writing and fencing are unaffected. Typing's a litrtrle off, though.

Lent started yesterday. It's my favorite church season - a season of penitence, even sorrow. Perhaps that is because, as Fr. Rocco said at mass, it is easy to be sorry. I am very much called by repentance; my affections are aroused when I express regret for my sins. According to Thomas a Kempis, author of Imitation of Christ, "A good man always finds enough subjects for mourning and weeping." Occasionally, I have wept over my transgressions; I hesitate to say that it feels good, but it definitely feels right. As Kempis recommends, I shall "Pray, therefore, humbly to Our Lord, that He may give thee a spirit of compunction, and say with the prophet, "Feed me, oh Lord, with the bread of tears and give me drink of tears in measure."(Ps. 79)"
I'll just have to make sure I don't get too caught up in sorrow and regret - it's most important to remember that there is forgiveness, hope, and joy in new life.

For lent, I gave up staying awake after midnight. I hope it turns out well. Kai is concerned that it will affect my schoolwork. So am I.

I had a great weekend, except that after it was done, I had a ton of work to do. I still do...but I won't be cramped to get it done again until this weekend. I took a test today in electromagnetics, which went well. The test was actually written to be pretty easy; the professor must have backed off a lot after seeing how afraid the students were, since the homework problems have been crazy-hard.

My girlfriend Kristy and her friend Jennie came down to visit and join me at my fraternity's formal date party. We also ate really well, between a group dinner at the Siam Cafe, wine & cheese, and Presti's bakery.
The dance was pretty good. I'm happy to report that dancing no longer bothers, annoys and embarrasses me. The company helped, no doubt: people I love & trust - people I am comfortable opening up with.
The song selection was highly dubious, however. Almost entirely rap songs, with two slow songs the entire night (one of them was a slow rap song). The only remarkable thing about such music is a heavy beat that you can move to. Melody is non-existent and lyrics are incomprehensible.
I almost did some break-dancing, at Noah's encouragement. Not certain whether I should have or not. It'd have been a risk of sorts, with glory & fun or shame & bothering others.

I've got plenty of work before Spring Break (March 11-18), although it could be a lot worse. Mainly, my BME classes are giving me trouble - especially 327, the bioelectricity one. This class is taught by my advisor; he seems rather stoic about assigning his students a lot of work in a short period. When we complain, he just smiles...