Tom's leg has been hurt badly. He goes into surgery on Thursday.

His knee is messed up - fractured bone and... was it four torn ligaments?

A big nerve in his lower leg is also damaged. He can't flex his foot.

His sports days might be over for good.

He's taking it quite well; Tom is very emotionally tough.
I am a little disappointed. I hoped this would shock him into realizing that it is past time he started a new life - time he "matured" you might say.

As his boss told him, "You're twenty-one years old, Tom. It's time you stopped acting like a dumbass."

Please pray for him, especially on Thursday.
Six-hour surgery.

Interviewed at U of M today. It went great; I made a conscious effort to be energetic and confident. My first two interviewers were really good, also.

I plan to start fencing again regularly.

I plan to call a bunch of my friends who I haven't spoken to in a while this weekend.

I am excited to do a murder mystery dinner thing with Kristy and a bunch of her friends.

I have been listening a lot to Dragonforce's "Valley of the Damned" from the album of the same title. Good energy for rocking out.

DRAGON HEART Song Lyrics

Valley of the Damned

(From the album "VALLEY OF THE DAMNED")

Part 1
On a cold dark winter night
Hidden by the stormy light
A battle rages for the right
For what will become
In the valley of the damned
A warrior with sword in hand
Travels fast across the land
For freedom he rise
And the sign from the master on high
He screams a loud and across hear the cry
For the kingdom of fire and ice
And the power to be alive

Four strong ride on carry on through the war
Four strong carry on living for ever more

On the wings of death By the hands of doom
By the darkest light
From the darkest moon

Crossing silent seas
Over mountains high
All will stand as one tonight

On the black wind forever
We ride on together
Destroying your evil with freedom my guide
When the master will call us
He stands high before us
Our hearts filled with splendour
Our swords will shine over the light

Valley of the Damned
++++++++++++++++++++
Part 2
In the valley of the damned
Days breaks with golden strand
Over pastures green it glows
To where night returns

On the shadows faces appear
Warriors wearing full metal gear
Join together one and all
Before the glorious light

Rise up gather around come and hear what is said
Use your senses open your mind don't you ever forget

On the wings of life
By the hands of hope
By the brightest light
From the brightest sun
Crossing silent seas
Over mountains high
To the valley of the damned

On the black wind forever...

Solos: Herman/Sam/Herman/Sam/Herman/Sam

On the black wind forever...

The silent retreat was great. I could say a lot about it... not even sure where to start.

In general, my strategy was less about praying/reading/doing - active spirituality - and more about listening/opening/letting go. It worked well, and I believe that I have been transformed a bit.

I feel closer to God, wiser, and more in touch with who I am and where I am in life.

My thoughts on the change in approach are that as people - and especially for men - we desire to control or dominate things: the world around us, others, and our self. However, in reality we are not really in control, and have very little power to change anything. I still believe that our choices are very real and in our control, but how those choices affect the world and even our selves is very limited. Our best option is to accept our lack of power and make room for God to work in our lives. It is a sort of letting go or dieing that opens us to a new and different life or state of being.


After the retreat, my respect for Eastern mysticism is so much greater than it once was. It once seemed foolish because I thought they teach paradox (they actually use them without necessarily affirming them) and there is belief in contradictions.

What I thought was logical contradiction was really just an attempt to express the mystery of God. I have come to realize that the spiritual nature of reality is in some way inexpressible and mysterious. Even in Christianity, it is dogma that God is one being and at the same time three different beings. A mysterious contradiction.

Break has been pretty solid so far.

I really should've tried harder to get a job before med school.
I am disappointed in my choices in that regard.

Life has been... pleasurable, though. Mostly sleep, video games, friends, and parties.

It's not very fulfilling, though.
Also, my mom nags me to death and both parents frequently disparage me for my lack of productive activity.

Full-time volunteering starts on the 20th. I will probably do more than 40 hours/week, actually, with my hospital volunteering on top of the U of D High volunteering.

I'm going to apply for jobs anyways.

Today I leave for a week-long silent retreat. It is mainly for my vocational discernment.


I think there is something special and good about silence. I suspect it would be good for everybody to meditate in silence regularly. It develops interior life and knowledge of the self, and if used with prayer, it will also develop one's relationship with God.