I wrote a philosophy essay, which I was very happy with. Here it is:

Nicholas Stephanoff
PHIL 101
Open thesis essay
10/29/06


Human beings all have desires and urges. Furthermore, all sane men and women have the ability to choose which desires to fulfill and which to deny. We make our choices about this by satisfying our greatest want – that is, what we understand to be the greatest good. In order for people to satisfy their greatest wants in truth (because what people think is best for them and what actually is best for them can be different), they must know what is good (or get lucky). Fortunately, there are ways for us to know what is good. For one, we can use our reason to figure out goodness, as Plato suggests in his work, The Republic. In that section, Plato also scoffs at knowledge gained by the senses, comparing it to shadows cast by a weak substitute for real light. This is foolish, since reason can do nothing without any data to use. We require knowledge of the world and experience in it – along with reason – to know what is good. By this each person chooses for them self what to believe; however, we are not on our own in our search for truth. Indeed, other people are likely to have better experiences and more intelligent, logical reasoning than oneself. It is therefore wise to learn from others about what is good. This is another way we can know what is good – by the authority of others. Furthermore, if there is a God, than this being would be the greatest authority, who surely would know what is good. According to my own experiences and the knowledge gained by my senses, through my faculty of reason, I have determined that love and justice are probably good.
I say “probably” because we can never really prove anything. In order for the word “know” to be useful at all, it must describe what is most probable. Any information gained by the senses has some cause which seems to fit with our understanding of the world, but we can never be sure that our senses aren’t being deceived. Furthermore, while reason is often very certain – especially logic, which is true by definition – even our own deductions are subject to doubt. Even the most basic “knowledge,” such as Descartes’ claim, “I think therefore I am” is subject to doubting the sense of self and the continual possibility of human error. We can never be sure, but evidence that we gather supports one idea or another; therefore, some ideas are more likely to be true than others (since true things can cause evidence for their existence, while false things cannot). There are two evidence paths that I use, which lead to knowing goodness. One is experiencing and thinking about the qualities of goodness. The other is learning from others who probably know.
Certainly, not all people have authority regarding what is good. Since knowledge is a matter of what is probably true, and we know what is true by experience and reason (evidence), then in general those with more wisdom, intelligence, and experience (or knowledge) are more likely to correctly discern what is true than those with less of those faculties. It is vain and foolish to believe that only one’s self has wisdom, intelligence, experience, and the motivation or ability to know what is good. Thus, the conclusions of others on this question should be taken into account as evidence for good as they say and against good that excludes their view. Furthermore, if there is a God, then that being – powerful enough to create the universe – is likely to have the power of knowing what is good. God is the ultimate authority regarding what is good.
The existence of such an authority is therefore important to the discussion of how we know what is good. I will briefly evidence God’s existence in order to use God’s authority as evidence for what is good. There is logical evidence for God based on the nature of our world. For example, if the universe (space and time) was not created, then it does not have a finite beginning, and must have existed for an infinite amount of time. An infinite amount of time can not pass (even at relativistic speeds), therefore the universe was created. In order for time and space to be created, there must have been some cause outside of time and space. This cause is God. Additionally, there are many witnessed and recorded miracles, whose most likely explanation is a supernatural cause. Furthermore, the organization of the world is symptomatic of (and therefore evidences) design, which necessitates a designer (God). Finally, the wise (and less wise) men and women of the past and present overwhelmingly believe in God, which evidences that belief. These all evidence the existence of God, and reveal information about this being. Sometimes, this information includes parts of God’s knowledge about what is good.
In Euthyphro, by Plato, the word “piety” is used. This reflects the practical method of doing what is good by doing God’s will. It makes sense if God wills goodness for all people, since God knows what is good. So, we can begin to understand what is good by understanding God’s laws, which apply to everyone (while the entire will of God can be different for each person). By our own reason and the authority of learned and holy men and women, we can also understand the underlying principles of God’s laws, which direct us to goodness. The two fundamental principles this law evidences are love and justice. Love is to will good for oneself and others. Justice is the condition of each receiving what is due to them. These are satisfying as underlying principles because while a string of “why’s” about goodness may lead to love or justice, the question “why love?” or “why justice?” is answered by the very definitions of the words. By definition if a person is due something, then they should receive it. We also know that what is good should be desired, because what is good is what we want the most. According to God and axiological authorities, love and justice are good principles.
God knows that these are good, but does not necessarily make them good. This is a distinction which troubles Socrates and Euthyphro in Plato’s Euthyphro. One of Socrates’ contentions is that the gods (authorities) disagree about what is good (“pious”). While there are definitely human authorities who would deny that love and justice are good, their collective authority is less weighty as evidence, because there are less of them and they are less wise. Even so, authoritative propositions are worth questioning and understanding when possible. Fortunately, there is further evidence for what is good, which we can figure out ourselves. Two such pieces of evidence are the existence of universal principles in the consciences of people, and the happiness and satisfaction that comes from doing good things. Firstly, a perspectivist analysis of conscience will reveal overwhelming trends towards actions that conform to certain principles – justice and love especially. For instance, honesty, duty, and kindness are social norms in almost every culture. Certainly, individuals and cultures are capable of forming their consciences (and thus eliminating previously held universal principles. Even more common is the choice to act against one’s conscience.) In addition to this evidence, I premise that good things are essentially different from things that are less (or not at all) good. This can manifest itself in noticeable ways. Logically, good deeds should all share symptoms with each other (although the symptoms are not necessarily exclusive to good things). In particular, doing things that are good always leads people to the best end, which is pleasing to the spirit and causes true, satisfied happiness. After all, doing what is good actuates our greatest wants. According to human experience, love and justice lead to happiness. Thus, actions based on these principles are more likely to be good.
Again, we can never be certain, but there is evidence out there for us to gather in order to make the best guess about is good. Without any leads, the possibilities for what is good are very broad; the best place to start is looking to the evidence of authority. If God exists (which is probable), then God definitely knows what is good. There are many holy and wise people who probably know about God and about goodness. We can know about what is good from their lessons. Furthermore, it is wise to check the teachings of authority with our own experiences and reason. In this case, authority claims that love and justice are good. According to reason, these principles are true and reasonable. It is true that people should receive their due (justice) and that the good is worth seeking (love). According to the human experience, love and justice are good things which we instinctively value (by conscience) and we benefit from practicing (because they make us happy). Based on this evidence, I claim to know that justice and love are good.

I am going to become huge.

Today is day 3 of my "get huge" program.

I am consuming daily glasses of protein shake. They taste... geh. At first they taste OK. Then they have a gross aftertaste. It's generally weird drinking a glass, and I never want to have a second.
Also, they are very filling.

Furthermore, I am getting daily exercise. I planned it as lifting every day, but yesterday I resorted to bodyweight stuff (which still made me sore).


Two days ago, I re-considered my commitment to this program.

Why am I doing this?

I could be doing more productive things with my time.

However, if I'm going to start being productive, I should really give up other things first. At least this is self-improvement of a sort (even if it is extraneously beyond physical health).

Besides, I want to see what it is like to be huge!

Like I said...

TESTOSTERONE

Lots happened.

Midterms last week. I may pull off my 4.0 after all... much of it rides on the midterm exam I took, which I did well on except for one huge problem. So, my grade on that test depends on how much partial credit the TA gives me. God bless it!

I interviewed at Wash U on Friday! Washington University in Saint Louis is the most difficult medical school to be accepted to - that is, so I heard it said.
The interview went very well. Yea! The school was fairly pimp, but not ridiculously so. The people were friendlier, happier, and more respectful than I expected.

While in Saint Louis, I stayed with Bryan "Tweak" Dillon. His girlfriend Kristin was staying with him. They were very friendly & inviting. I felt so welcome. They practically waited upon me. Also, I beat Tweak in about 14 of 15 games. Hehehe.

Then, I went home and saw my brothers play each other in a lacrosse tournament. It was sweet. Lacrosse is good to watch. I want to play now!! Tom & Joe are both very good at the sport. I spent most of that day with my dad. Nice.

Then, I visited Kristy. That was good. It was sweetest day that weekend. I got her some Irish Cream, because it is delicious, and I wanted to fight the strange phenomenom of me being bothered by her drinking (even though she always drinks very temperately).
She got me a sweet book that I used to own, "The Color of Magic," by Terry Pratchett. I read it later in a period of about 16 hours.
She also finished a very nice rosary for me. A wonderful gift, which also represents a great deal of thought & work.

I am quite disappointed that I didn't visit Vann. I definitely did not manage my plans very well. I feel like I let him down. I will do better in the future!
I was going to stop by, but the night before I pretty much did not sleep, and...
well let's just say that on the way back on Monday (after plenty of sleep), I nodded off for a moment while driving... twice.
Yeah...really terrible.

Back at Case now. I'll post later about the thing I just started, but let's just say that it involves a LOT
OF
TESTOSTERONE!!!

I had an AMAZING dream while napping today.

I think my most fun dreams often happen during daytime naps.

I wonder if I can arrange to take more of them? Perhaps instead of doing other "leisure" things.

I am concerned about messing myself up, though. Sleep is a tricky thing, which can affect a person in many ways.

A couple highlights include driving a green turtle shell (like, with a golf club) into some creature's head, and defeating an evil knight in a duel...

and that wasn't even the best part.

So, I had a thought today during senior project presentations.

The whole scientific theory of matter and stuff is really dubious.

I mean, all these particles are supposed to be interacting with one another... without touching (or sending out stuff that reaches other particles, with the exception of light).

For instance, gravity. How does the matter that makes up my body "know" that the earth is pulling them down when I jump? You could "crop" me out of the universe, and the earth wouldn't be there... nor would any waves or particles coming from it.

I guess there's some sort of Einstiein theory about the "fabric" of space-time being warped by things with mass.

That kind of makes sense, that particles interact through their medium of space and time, although it's still weird because it's such a stretch to think of space (like... void) and time as things that move us.

I guess my original problem was thinking of mass interacting through space that is unoccupied.

Makes me re-consider the idealist (only ideas exist) philosophies that I dismissed off-hand.

...

Nah, they're still crazy.

I've been playing Warcraft 3 lately.
It's not a new game.

It got me thinking that I haven't bought a new computer game in a long time. The last one was probably a Neverwinter Nights expansion two or three years ago.

I am fairly pleased that I can pretty much stay game-entertained by cycling through the ones I already have.

Of course, I must get access to the new Smash when it comes out; I will probably buy that.


Also, I haven't been exercising nearly as much as I used to. After Fall break I plan to do it every day. I wouldn't bet on that happening, but... we'll see. I'll definitely start lifting & running (& trying to learn breakdancing) again.

I wonder if I can find a good partner to encourage me.

Midterms next week.

Get pissed, Nick!



Gonna see Bryan "Tweak" Dillon next Friday. I'm going to St. Louis for an interview at Wash U.

I briefly but seriously considered missing most of that week for my interview, to give myself more time.

Great weekend. Saw Kristy for almost two whole days. She ran her school's rennaisance fair, which went very well.

I also interviewed at Wayne State. The interview went OK. The school seemed OK relative to OSU & Loyola.


Lately, I have been experiencing a LOT of inner turmoil about my discernment. I find myself thinking quite often about possible futures as a priest or raising a family. There's so many things about each that attract or repel me. Oftentimes I feel confused about it, and sometimes it aggravates me.
I spoke with my mom about this while she drove me home, and we concluded that I am experiencing this due to my lapse in active discernment and spiritual nourishment. I haven't been praying and meditating as much as I did over the summer. I haven't been really discerning as much. I haven't been meeting with a spiritual director.
Unfortunately, I am very busy this semester, and I don't think I'll really have the time to focus on discernment until after I graduate. Since I really hope to know my vocation in time to accept or turn down medical school offers, it would be great to have it figured out by next April. I hope to buckle down and do some serious discernment after graduation.
Until then, I should really do more than I am now, though. This painful conflict in my heart may be God's way of encouraging me to continue pursuing my purpose.

FINALLY I did the EBME 401 homework well.

Geez, thank you, God.


Interviews at Loyola went really well. I liked the faculty, staff, and students there.

Great to visit with Shantan and Father Kurtz, also.

Shantan's family is nice. They also have some nice things.

I rode on the back of his motorcycle - first time for me. I kind of want to buy one now. I'd better not drive a motorcycle, or I'm likely to REALLy want to buy one.

Besides, it's a HANDGUN I want for Christmas ; ).